“There is profound unhappiness among the members of a family ruled by a tyrannical narcissistic father. In many of these families, the mother simply echoes the father as she feels uncertain of herself (due to his emotional abuse) and is afraid to take her husband on. Often this destructive pattern is the result of the mother’s own childhood. Not aware of the dynamics of narcissism, she went from a cruel, tyrannical father to a brutal, domineering husband. Repetition of psychological patterns, such as is seen with abuse and narcissism, is common. The mother chooses a spouse similar to her abusive parent and raises a family in an abusive environment like the one she was raised in.”
What does stands in the way of creative breakthroughs — I’m increasingly convinced — is lack of time spent walking quietly with your thoughts, working and re-working your understanding of a concept in search of new layers of meaning.
“The wound won’t get smaller, but you can make it a smaller part of who you are.”
But a big part of growing up is learning when someone says X to you, it’s not about you, it’s about them. I can listen politely, or leave. I can get mad or ignore it.
Question: how do you stay focused and motivated when things don’t go the way you’d hoped?
Elon: My drive to get it done is somewhat disconnected from hope, enthusiasm or anything else. I actually don’t care about hope or enthusiasm or motivation. I just give everything I’ve got irrespective of what the circumstances may be. You just keep going and get it done.
My two cents:
I don’t think Elon has no hopes, enthusiasm or motivation. It would have been very difficult to have accomplished what he has without any of the three. What he really means is that when confronting a problem, instead of being stuck in fear, you actually have a choice. You can force yourself to look at the big picture, create a plan to deal with the problem, and execute your plan. The good news is, the more you deliberately train yourself to do it, the more ease you’ll feel when facing future problems.
Most people are just trapped in fear, never realizing that there’s always a way out.
Source video on Youtube
“The concept of life/work balance isn’t that helpful for us, because there’s always more work to do, we’re eager to do it, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“Years ago my colleague Michael Gilbert suggested that we substitute “boundaries” for “balance”: while balance requires an unsteady equilibrium among the various demands on our time and energy, boundaries offer a sustainable means of keeping things in their proper place.”
“Good leaders, of course, are aware of how costly it is to hold on to grudges and how an unforgiving attitude keeps people from moving forward. Unfortunately, for far too many people in leadership positions, revenge comes more naturally than forgiveness.”
“Don’t force yourself to do pseudo-work. Instead, view breaks more than just time when you’re not doing work, but opportunities to recharge your batteries. This way, when you do sit back at your desk you’ll be more productive and less likely to procrastinate. ”
“You become an evangelist for this way of life. You want to show everyone that you’re happier. You want to help them to be happy too.
Yet you may discover, as most evangelists do, that the rest of the world is not always eager to hear your message.
Your happiness may lie in going against the grain of opinion or preferences. But sometimes, you should just go with the flow once you’re there. Let it settle in. Enjoy it for yourself.”