Struggling with the past

I’ve been self-sabotaging a lot recently.

When I was growing up, instead of giving credit when credit is due, my parents kept belittling me, and telling me “you can’t do this”or”you’re not smart enough”. And I f***ing believed it, and internalized it. I didn’t have a choice, did I? I was just a kid.

Now even I can make my choice, the mocking voice is still there. I delibrately don’t do well, because based on my past experience, no matter how good I do, I’m not doing well, so I’d better just do nothing.

I know their opinions don’t count. I know that I have free will to make all kinds of choices. But the effect the past has on me now is still unbelivable.

I’ve read all about it. Now I have to make changes, step by step. It’s painful, but I have to do it. It’s MY choice this time.

Peace and love.


Elon Musk: “I don’t care about hope, enthusiasm or motivation.”

Question: how do you stay focused and motivated when things don’t go the way you’d hoped?

Elon: My drive to get it done is somewhat disconnected from hope, enthusiasm or anything else. I actually don’t care about hope or enthusiasm or motivation. I just give everything I’ve got irrespective of what the circumstances may be. You just keep going and get it done.

My two cents:

I don’t think Elon has no hopes, enthusiasm or motivation. It would have been very difficult to have accomplished what he has without any of the three. What he really means is that when confronting a problem, instead of being stuck in fear, you actually have a choice. You can force yourself to look at the big picture, create a plan to deal with the problem, and execute your plan. The good news is, the more you deliberately train yourself to do it, the more ease you’ll feel when facing future problems.

Most people are just trapped in fear, never realizing that there’s always a way out.


Source video on Youtube

Morning routine(simple yet working)

Inspired by “My Morning Routine” from zenhabit. Link at the very end.

So my morning routine now is:

  • wake up
  • get dressed (if I’m still wearing my pajama, it doesn’t quite feel like a new day has started)
  • check tweets (I’m a student, and I follow university, the library, local news)
  • prepare breakfast
  • write down 3 most important things to do today
  • eat breakfast
  • work


  • I don’t read news in the morning anymore, because it has been such a distraction. I’d keep thinking about what I’ve read after breakfast while I work. Have to drop it.
  • No shower in the morning. I do it in the evening instead.

My morning routine on Zenhabits

Boundary not balance for happy workaholics

“The concept of life/work balance isn’t that helpful for us, because there’s always more work to do, we’re eager to do it, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Years ago my colleague Michael Gilbert suggested that we substitute “boundaries” for “balance”: while balance requires an unsteady equilibrium among the various demands on our time and energy, boundaries offer a sustainable means of keeping things in their proper place.”


Simple rules to live by

Version: December 5, 2013.


  • Eat when hungry, stop when full.
  • Eat unprocessed food.
  • Get enough sleep. Drink enough water.
  • Move a lot.


  • Make a plan, then forget about it.
  • Work.
  • Reflect, revise plan, keep working.


  • Live in the present moment.
  • Read.
  • Don’t watch television.
  • Talk to people, ask for their opinions, make my own decision.
  • Learn from failures.

4 lessons from Elon Musk on learning, creativity and entrepreneurship

When you started your company, who did you look for advice?

“I read a lot of books and talked to a lot of people… I always look for feedback from people around me.”

“I like to read biographies… Something like Franklin’s biography is really good.”

Why do other car companies really suck?

“I don’t know, it blows my mind.”

” You can take a body panel and stamp it with this shape or that shape and yet they choose to do the bad shape.. but it costs the same either way.” (me: same ideas as “it’s easier to earn all A’s”)

“Maybe they are trapped in their own history.”

Where do you come up with your best ideas?

“This sounds really cliche, but like, the shower is probably like the most.. wake up, go shower in the morning and I think so what’s really happened is things have percolated in the subconscious and it’s not really occurring in the shower but you’re kinda getting the results from last night’s computation, basically.”

“Sometimes it’s late at night, if I can’t sleep and there’s something bothering me, then it’ll occur then.” (me: when you live in the present moment, you’re likely to be more creative)

What’s one piece of advice that you’d offer new entrepreneurs?

“I think it is very important to actively seek out and listen very carefully to negative feedback. This is something people tend to avoid because it’s painful.”

“I think this is a very common mistake – to not actively seek out and listen to negative feedback.”

“I say, don’t tell me what you like, tell me what you don’t like… They(friends) may be wrong, but it’s coming from a good place.”

“It’s also important to reason from first principles, rather than by analogy.”


The interview on youtube